the moon is one big, giant piece of dead rock. no life, no ability to generate light on it's own. and yet, all over the world, every night, people gaze up at the moon, entranced by it's beauty, captured by its allure. a piece of shining silver in a dark sky... it can light the path of those in darkness. yet the moon is incapable of creating light... it's only ability is to reflect the light of the sun. and by doing so, it is illuminated for the world to see.
oh to shine like the moon...to reflect the light of the Sun (Son) so that when the world see's me, they are really seeing Him. there may be those who have no ability to see the Sun...they are lost, unbelievers, cloaked in a night of sin, failure, hurt, rebellion... they may not be able to see the Sun, but they can see me. i'm in their world, and by reflecting Him in my life, they see Him, and are awakened to the Light of day.
oh to shine like the moon...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
all to win my heart...
God, in order to prove how much He desired to capture my heart, sacrificed that which was of most value to Him.
He was extravagant, over the top, went the extra mile.
and for what? all to win my heart...all to woo me to Him.
all because, in His unconditional love for me, He desired me to love Him in return.
God did not make a logical decision in choosing me as His beloved.
it wasn't a case of convenience, good sense or no one better.
He did all He could do, He moved heaven to earth, He planned from eternity past and mapped out His strategy...
His strategy to win me over. to captivate me.
and He did. the reason i love Him is BECAUSE He first loved me.
before i even knew Him, He was planning His masterful invasion of my heart.
the scripture says that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church...His bride.
but look at what Christ did in order to WIN His bride...
the Cross is what He did to WIN me, not what He did once i was already His.
the Cross was His pursuit...not His response to my agreement.
look at what Jesus did to woo His bride...
He was extravagant. He was overwhelming.
He gave all. He stopped at nothing.
He sacrificed, He offered everything.
and that was just to get my attention.
that was just to say, "THIS IS HOW MUCH I WANT YOUR HEART!
THIS IS HOW MUCH I WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU!
THIS IS HOW VALUABLE YOU ARE TO ME!!
THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!"
i hadn't decided at that time. i hadn't said, "yes, Lord, i'll give You my heart," for Him to show this depth of love.
this was Him showing His depth of desire.
His desire for me.
that's why i love Him. because He first loved me.
because, before i even had a mind to make up, a soul to surrender, and a heart to be won,
He was strategizing His plan...because He loved me.
God did not make a logical decision when He chose me to be His beloved...
it wasn't a case of convenience, good sense, or that He settled for me because He couldn't find anyone better.
even in my mistakes, my flaws and my imperfections, He was committed to me.
like any good relationship, He determined from the dawn of time to stick with me in the process of becoming...
we are a team, me and God. He's the perfectionist, i'm the one being perfected.
but every day, He shows me all over again how much i mean to Him.
how much He loves me.
how much He wants me to love Him in return.
this is why i love Him. because He loves me...
He was extravagant, over the top, went the extra mile.
and for what? all to win my heart...all to woo me to Him.
all because, in His unconditional love for me, He desired me to love Him in return.
God did not make a logical decision in choosing me as His beloved.
it wasn't a case of convenience, good sense or no one better.
He did all He could do, He moved heaven to earth, He planned from eternity past and mapped out His strategy...
His strategy to win me over. to captivate me.
and He did. the reason i love Him is BECAUSE He first loved me.
before i even knew Him, He was planning His masterful invasion of my heart.
the scripture says that men are to love their wives as Christ loves the church...His bride.
but look at what Christ did in order to WIN His bride...
the Cross is what He did to WIN me, not what He did once i was already His.
the Cross was His pursuit...not His response to my agreement.
look at what Jesus did to woo His bride...
He was extravagant. He was overwhelming.
He gave all. He stopped at nothing.
He sacrificed, He offered everything.
and that was just to get my attention.
that was just to say, "THIS IS HOW MUCH I WANT YOUR HEART!
THIS IS HOW MUCH I WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU!
THIS IS HOW VALUABLE YOU ARE TO ME!!
THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!"
i hadn't decided at that time. i hadn't said, "yes, Lord, i'll give You my heart," for Him to show this depth of love.
this was Him showing His depth of desire.
His desire for me.
that's why i love Him. because He first loved me.
because, before i even had a mind to make up, a soul to surrender, and a heart to be won,
He was strategizing His plan...because He loved me.
God did not make a logical decision when He chose me to be His beloved...
it wasn't a case of convenience, good sense, or that He settled for me because He couldn't find anyone better.
even in my mistakes, my flaws and my imperfections, He was committed to me.
like any good relationship, He determined from the dawn of time to stick with me in the process of becoming...
we are a team, me and God. He's the perfectionist, i'm the one being perfected.
but every day, He shows me all over again how much i mean to Him.
how much He loves me.
how much He wants me to love Him in return.
this is why i love Him. because He loves me...
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
cuz martin said it better...
"this life, therefore,
is not righteousness...
but growth in righteousness.
not health...but healing.
not being...but becoming.
we are not yet what we shall be,
but we are growing toward it.
the process is not yet finished,
but it is going on.
this is not the end,
but it is the road.
all does not yet gleam in glory...
but all is being purified."
~martin luther~
enough said.
is not righteousness...
but growth in righteousness.
not health...but healing.
not being...but becoming.
we are not yet what we shall be,
but we are growing toward it.
the process is not yet finished,
but it is going on.
this is not the end,
but it is the road.
all does not yet gleam in glory...
but all is being purified."
~martin luther~
enough said.
Monday, June 30, 2008
mirror mirror on the wall....
ok, it's been so long since the last time i updated this blog that i forgot my password and had to go through the whole password changing process...that's pathetic. so, my bad...i'm still getting into the hang of this...
for those of you who know about my recent move from "the nest," things have been going really well. so far i've been enjoying the space and greater independence but i don't wanna say too much yet, lest six months from now i'm having to swallow my words...suffice to say, so far, so good! :) it's been a stretch as far as responsibility with things like budgeting (before it looked something like this: tithe, offering, manicure, pedicure, cute new shirt, credit so i can call all my friends, lunch out....now it's changed to this: tithe, offering, rent, food, water, new cheap nail polish so i can do it myself at home, credit to sms all my friends, peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my packed lunch) :) ok it's not that bad...but joining the ranks of normal people who actually have to do more with their money than play with it...well, it's been an adjustment but hey, i'm growing up. finally.
to be honest, this weird season that i've been in for what feels like a very long time can only be described like this...
being the girly girl that i am, i like wearing makeup. i like doing makeup for other ladies...it's something i enjoy and even tho i wish i was one of those girls who could just wash my face and go with that fresh faced look, the reality is that a little concealer and powder goes a long way with me! ;) but herein lies the problem...sometimes i can get so used to how my face looks with all the little imperfections covered up by concealer, that when i see the "just washed" me...well, i'm not comfortable with it. i want to look perfect. i want to look flawless.
let's just say, in the spiritual, i'm having to look in the mirror without the makeup on. things are being exposed and uncovered...things that i've applied my "spiritual makeup" to...i've concealed the flaws and imperfections to the outside world. of course i know they're there, but i can fool my friends or family or those i'm leading into thinking this is the real me (for a time anyway, because like natural makeup, it'll start to fade after awhile, and i either have to cover up again or risk being seen)...sadder still, i can start to believe myself that it's the real me. but God, in His love, is washing off the makeup and putting me in front of the mirror...and i'm seeing myself for who i am.
God is not mean. He's not exposing the imperfections to make me feel bad or ugly. instead, He's saying, "instead of using the concealer, let's deal with where this problem is coming from so you don't have to keep covering it up...so you can BE beautiful and clean, not just look it..."
i'm on this medication right now for scarring acne...this is the MOTHER of medicines...it's so powerful that it'll deform a baby in the womb (my single-ness is coming in handy at a time like this). like God, this medicine is dealing with everything from the inside out...instead of concealing the blemish with makeup, it's going to the subcutaneous layers and finding the problem and knocking it right out. well, it's supposed to. i'll keep you updated. :)
i recently heard someone say, "the situation is not the problem...the situation is exposing the problem." so often i pray for God to change my situation...i'm learning to pray for God to change me. situations will be bad from now till Jesus comes back. the question is, how am i responding and handling them? what is the situations exposing? it's not that person who's making me angry...they are only exposing my lack of controlling my temper. it's not that i need more money...it's just being exposed that i'm not a good steward of the money i have...
anyway, i could go on and on...but to sum it up, i'm looking in the mirror at a face that kind of embarrasses me cuz it's not what i want to look like. but thanks be to God, who in His loving kindness, is showing me who i am so that i can see the area's that need to be dealt with - not just covered up.
think of judgment day as the day that we all wash our faces...what we really are will be seen, not what we let others believe we are. whether we just concealed the problem, or dealt with it will be seen.
deal with me now, Lord...cleanse me from the inside out...
p.s. and for those gentlemen out there who may be single, i'm not really THAT ugly without makeup... just using it as an illustration! ;)
for those of you who know about my recent move from "the nest," things have been going really well. so far i've been enjoying the space and greater independence but i don't wanna say too much yet, lest six months from now i'm having to swallow my words...suffice to say, so far, so good! :) it's been a stretch as far as responsibility with things like budgeting (before it looked something like this: tithe, offering, manicure, pedicure, cute new shirt, credit so i can call all my friends, lunch out....now it's changed to this: tithe, offering, rent, food, water, new cheap nail polish so i can do it myself at home, credit to sms all my friends, peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my packed lunch) :) ok it's not that bad...but joining the ranks of normal people who actually have to do more with their money than play with it...well, it's been an adjustment but hey, i'm growing up. finally.
to be honest, this weird season that i've been in for what feels like a very long time can only be described like this...
being the girly girl that i am, i like wearing makeup. i like doing makeup for other ladies...it's something i enjoy and even tho i wish i was one of those girls who could just wash my face and go with that fresh faced look, the reality is that a little concealer and powder goes a long way with me! ;) but herein lies the problem...sometimes i can get so used to how my face looks with all the little imperfections covered up by concealer, that when i see the "just washed" me...well, i'm not comfortable with it. i want to look perfect. i want to look flawless.
let's just say, in the spiritual, i'm having to look in the mirror without the makeup on. things are being exposed and uncovered...things that i've applied my "spiritual makeup" to...i've concealed the flaws and imperfections to the outside world. of course i know they're there, but i can fool my friends or family or those i'm leading into thinking this is the real me (for a time anyway, because like natural makeup, it'll start to fade after awhile, and i either have to cover up again or risk being seen)...sadder still, i can start to believe myself that it's the real me. but God, in His love, is washing off the makeup and putting me in front of the mirror...and i'm seeing myself for who i am.
God is not mean. He's not exposing the imperfections to make me feel bad or ugly. instead, He's saying, "instead of using the concealer, let's deal with where this problem is coming from so you don't have to keep covering it up...so you can BE beautiful and clean, not just look it..."
i'm on this medication right now for scarring acne...this is the MOTHER of medicines...it's so powerful that it'll deform a baby in the womb (my single-ness is coming in handy at a time like this). like God, this medicine is dealing with everything from the inside out...instead of concealing the blemish with makeup, it's going to the subcutaneous layers and finding the problem and knocking it right out. well, it's supposed to. i'll keep you updated. :)
i recently heard someone say, "the situation is not the problem...the situation is exposing the problem." so often i pray for God to change my situation...i'm learning to pray for God to change me. situations will be bad from now till Jesus comes back. the question is, how am i responding and handling them? what is the situations exposing? it's not that person who's making me angry...they are only exposing my lack of controlling my temper. it's not that i need more money...it's just being exposed that i'm not a good steward of the money i have...
anyway, i could go on and on...but to sum it up, i'm looking in the mirror at a face that kind of embarrasses me cuz it's not what i want to look like. but thanks be to God, who in His loving kindness, is showing me who i am so that i can see the area's that need to be dealt with - not just covered up.
think of judgment day as the day that we all wash our faces...what we really are will be seen, not what we let others believe we are. whether we just concealed the problem, or dealt with it will be seen.
deal with me now, Lord...cleanse me from the inside out...
p.s. and for those gentlemen out there who may be single, i'm not really THAT ugly without makeup... just using it as an illustration! ;)
Friday, May 2, 2008
lessons from the country girl....
so i'm in my new house - it's amazing...following are a few of life's great lessons one can only learn when living alone in shagz....
#1. brown river water will turn all your brilliant white clothes into a neutral shade of beige.
#2. don't put rat poison in the roof...they'll die and rot up there.
#3. if your house is low on power, just switch off your fridge when you need to shower in order to facilitate enough power to the hot water heater.
#4. bathing from a bucket REALLY isn't that bad...really....
#5. bugs are attracted to light. walk around in the dark if you don't want a bazillion moths flying around your lightbulbs.
#6. constantly be on the lookout for hay wagons stopped randomly in the middle of the road.
#7. when in doubt, spray DOOM on it...
#8. spiders in shagz take longer to die.
#9. don't be concerned at seemingly sadist reactions to crawling things...it's survival of the stubbornest.
...and finally...
#10. it's probably not a smart idea to heat up food in a hot water kettle since you don't have a microwave.
:)
#1. brown river water will turn all your brilliant white clothes into a neutral shade of beige.
#2. don't put rat poison in the roof...they'll die and rot up there.
#3. if your house is low on power, just switch off your fridge when you need to shower in order to facilitate enough power to the hot water heater.
#4. bathing from a bucket REALLY isn't that bad...really....
#5. bugs are attracted to light. walk around in the dark if you don't want a bazillion moths flying around your lightbulbs.
#6. constantly be on the lookout for hay wagons stopped randomly in the middle of the road.
#7. when in doubt, spray DOOM on it...
#8. spiders in shagz take longer to die.
#9. don't be concerned at seemingly sadist reactions to crawling things...it's survival of the stubbornest.
...and finally...
#10. it's probably not a smart idea to heat up food in a hot water kettle since you don't have a microwave.
:)
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
i'm really not this bad
ok...so almost immediately after i started my blog site, i was in hospital for a week after an appendectomy - i didn't see that one coming, but i guess it all worked out for good as it FORCED me to get some rest. :) i'm much better now, other than a slightly disturbingly deformed belly button, and ready to rock and roll.
nairobi lighthouse church is on the move!! after 13 years in city stadium, we are moving from glory to glory, and as of this coming sunday, we'll be in the conference centre of safari park hotel. i cannot tell you how excited i am about this change ... God has been SO GOOD to us to provide the stadium for the past years, and even with the rain, mud, dust, noise, etc, we've grown quite attached to the place. however, especially from a musical side, i am so thrilled to be going to a building with better acoustics, a place where the choir and singers will be HEARD, where our dancers can dance without leaving coated with dirt, changing rooms for the dancers... oh, i'm excited!!
at the beginning of this year, dad said he believed that 2008 would be the year of opportunities... already we are seeing it come to pass!
nairobi lighthouse church is on the move!! after 13 years in city stadium, we are moving from glory to glory, and as of this coming sunday, we'll be in the conference centre of safari park hotel. i cannot tell you how excited i am about this change ... God has been SO GOOD to us to provide the stadium for the past years, and even with the rain, mud, dust, noise, etc, we've grown quite attached to the place. however, especially from a musical side, i am so thrilled to be going to a building with better acoustics, a place where the choir and singers will be HEARD, where our dancers can dance without leaving coated with dirt, changing rooms for the dancers... oh, i'm excited!!
at the beginning of this year, dad said he believed that 2008 would be the year of opportunities... already we are seeing it come to pass!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
in the beginning...
so here goes... having been thoroughly inspired by mel and joel, along with ms. krysty kay messmer, i've decided to enter the wonderful world of blogging - wonderful, or so i've been told. :) although i miss the days of hand-written letters, i must admit this is a wonderful way to stay in touch with what's going on in people's worlds...albeit, a bit impersonal, but hey, better impersonal than not at all... so here is my blog. inside my world...
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