when God says 'no'...

"no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly." - psalm 84:11b (amp)

 God challenged me with these words recently...
 "My 'no' is as much of a reason for you to celebrate as My 'yes'." 

it is easy to praise, rejoice, fill out a good report card, post to social media and "give all glory to God" when we get a YES for the things we've been asking.

but what about when we are answered with "no" or "wait." are we as quick to be grateful and praise and get excited? it's easy to be discouraged when we don't get what we want - and i do believe that there can be warfare and the enemy can resist our breakthrough (another post for another day!) - but when God says no or when God says wait, why do we not see that as a WONDERFUL thing?

if God will not withhold any good thing, then would it not stand to reason that if He DOES withhold it, it must not be good?

His no can be protection. His no can be because He sees the future while we can only see the now. His no can be to make us better people. His no can be to reveal our true nature to ourselves so we can see where our faith is.
 His no is good. His no is trustworthy.
 His no is as much a reason to dance and shout and sing as His yes.

there's a song made popular recently that says "when Jesus say 'yes' nobody can say 'no'." amen to that! but what happens "when Jesus say 'no'"??? do we have songs for that?

when a child asks his father for something that seems SO GOOD to his little understanding - say, for example, he asks to eat nothing but candy for dinner - it is unfathomable to him why his father would say 'no'... does Dad not see why i need this candy? does he not understand that this candy is all my heart desires? does he not notice how long i've been waiting for this candy? why am i being denied? why doesn't Dad really care about me?

it seems laughable because, at our age, we understand that eating candy for dinner is clearly not a good idea, but in a little boy's mind, it is hard to grasp why his father would say no. it boils down to this question - do i really trust my Father? do i truly believe that He understands more than i do, He sees more than i see, He knows more than i know, and if He says no, then it is a no i can trust and rely on, a no i should embrace and be grateful for?

look back over your life... if God had given you every thing you had asked for, where would you be now? don't you look back at some relationships, some jobs, some opportunities that, at the time, you were so SURE would be right for you... yet now, you see God's good hand directing you away from something or someone that would have been harmful or unhealthy or less than His best?

may our hindsight give us insight into our present situations... no good thing will He withhold. 

God... thank You for every time You, in Your loving kindness and mercy, directed me as a Good Shepherd by holding me back from the things i wanted that i didn't even see would hurt me. forgive me for so easily letting go of my faith in Your goodness. thank You for every "no" and every "wait" You have spoken over me. thank You, Lord.

help me, in days to come, when i am convinced that i know best and my plan is solid and my ways are sure, to trust that if You hold me back or redirect me or keep me waiting, it is because something GOOD is being prepared for me... or that i am being prepared for something GOOD.

help me, in moments of doubt, not to behave like a spoiled child, bent on getting my way and insisting on my desire...

help me, in times of testing, to praise You in the waiting, to worship in the "no" and to TRUST and OBEY.

amen.

still my chosen road...

i should probably start with some kind of explanation as to why i haven't blogged for the past two-ish years... :)  

well... life happens...and over the hills and bumps and valleys and rocky paths of my chosen road, some of that life has been heartbreaking, hurtful, disappointing and i've faced rejection, defeat, frustration and desperation.  but it has also had it's share (more so in the last year) of victory, joy, happiness, love, healing and revelation.

in january of last year (2014) i went on a 40 day fast (43 days to be exact).  i'd just reached a place where i needed an encounter with God, i needed freedom, i needed deliverance and i needed healing like never before.  so for 43 days, i fasted food (only water, and a small serving of fruit or veggies a day), i fasted social media and entertainment... i read through the entire Bible (chronologically) and read 12 books.  i prayed continually through the days.  i let God dig deep into the places that hurt, the places i'd rather keep hidden from Him and from myself.  i looked long and hard in the mirror of my soul and allowed myself to see the truth reflected there.  i worshipped and sang my heart out.  i cried a heck of a lot.  

and somewhere in that process, healing and freedom found me.

tho freedom, i've found, is a continual choice.  it's a daily walk.  it's a never ending process.

the enemy is crafty, cruel and subtle... if i don't keep my guard up, my eyes open and my spirit sensitive, those old chains can be ever so coyly slipped back over me.  

this road i've chosen - it's narrow and i'm constantly seeing massive eight lane highways of compromise and convenience on the left and right... 

but this is the road i've chosen...because the destination is worth it.  

and who i become in the travel is wonderful.